Gameblogging: FFXIII-2, Hour 2

[sincere]

Okay! Commentspamming myself with observations as I play FFXIII-2.


The comments will contain some spoilers, but please do not add spoilers of your own. ETA: Seriously, please don't discuss or refer to anything you think I might not have seen in any detail! I want everything to come as a total surprise.

Comments

[sincere]

Oh wow, when I load it I literally get a "LAST TIME ON FINAL FANTASY XIII-2..." medley of scenes and voice acting. That's hilarious.

[sincere]

All right, so I was on a precipice looking at a giant glowy rock with other dimensions in the sky around it. What will happen next?!

> Examine the crystal

[sincere]

Noel says one of those is his. Cocoon doesn't exist in his world. Noel is from 700 years AF (after the fall of Cocoon).

Serah: I knew you weren't from this world!
Me: That's not what he said. He's from the future of this world, honey.

[sincere]

Noel drags Serah over to the meteor, which turns into a time gate, and he says Lightning is waiting on the other side. Serah monologues for a bit and we all go home to talk to Noel about this. Talk talk talk. We have to find an artefact that will let us travel to Lightning's world time.

Or is Valhalla legit another world? Stop using world when you don't mean it and I won't have to wonder!

[sincere]

The next morning Serah wakes up and stretches, and says "Good morning," to no one. I can now access the paradigms and crystarium.

[sincere]

I got a Live Trigger... reward! Lebreau's Olive Tattoo?! Is this a costume change for Lebreau? What is happening.

[sincere]

wtf crystarium

So when you load it up you're staring at Commando skills (even though Serah was a Ravager). I hit X and the it highlights certain orbs in the same network as being, say, Thunder, or Blitz, or Launch. Each orb you can level in a particular class, so I'll level her as a Ravager, and she'll get Ravager stat bonuses? Okay. I think.

So I level her as a Ravager and then observe that two orbs away is Blitz, so I will level her as a Commando then so that I can get Blitz. Only... when I get the Ravager sphere, Blitz moves... further away?

What is going on here. /goes to read the primer

[sincere]

I still don't really understand, it told me mostly things I already figured out. Okay. Thanks.

[sincere]

Wait, I figured it out! In the lower-right corner is a little chart of my next available abilities. So when I have four Commando orbs, I learn Blitz. Since I'm not leveling her Commandoness, that orb is going to keep moving away as I level other things. Okay. Fair enough.

[sincere]

LIVE TRIGGER! I leave my room and talk to Lebreau. Serah remembers Lebreau being injured saving her, but notes that Lebreau looks fine this morning. What do I say to her?!

"Sorry about yesterday..."
"Good morning to you!"
"Good morning!"
"Good morning, kupo!"

I think I'm offended.

[sincere]

We are deliberately prompted to remember Lebreau saving us and getting badly hurt because of it, but only one option actually addresses that. The other three are all completely meaningless distinctions on the same exact conversational cue.

There are two ways this falls out: these are completely meaningless options designed to give you an illusion of choice, or there is a completely arbitrary difference between "Good morning to you!" and "Good morning!" that will later on mean the difference between getting a good item or something.

Why can't there be a "How are you feeling?" option or a "You look great!" Why is it "I'M SO SORRY /tears" and three different fucking versions of "Yo".

[sincere]

A FAQ informs me that Live Triggers have no effect on the story. Oh, illusions of choice. You're awesome.

[sincere]

Lebreau responds to "Sorry about yesterday" by insinuating that we're cheating on Snow with Noel. Thanks, game.

[sincere]

Twice.

[rainfall]

/punches the game in the goddamned face

You know what? I LIKE MARRIED COUPLES. I do not NEED or WANT random love interests.

At least the other members of Snow's gang just think he's a liar and don't necessarily think we're sleeping with him.

[sincere]

One of my favorite things about this game was that it was starring a girl whose mission was all about her sister, who was already in a committed relationship with a man she loves. I'm usually offended when games go "Teehee you two people who met a few hours ago are such lovebirds" but that had better be all this is. If Noel is a love interest I will punch him in the face. And if I don't have any choice in the matter and the game just tells me they're meant to be and Snow bows out or is erased, I will rage.

[sincere]

It's in "Adornments". What does that mean? What are adornments?

[sincere]

Google tells me they're things you can put on your... pet monsters. Sure, why not.

[sincere]

God, Cocoon is pretty.

[sincere]

Lebreau and Serah are explaining Cocoon to Noel. Most people are living in a settlement at the base of the pillar, because they love the idea of a huge moon-sized structure looming over them, balanced on a precarious crystal pillar. Snow decided to take his posse and make a settlement near the ocean instead.

[sincere]

Mog tells me that a cat has an artefact, meaning I have to chase a cat around. When I cornered the cat, the game completely froze me, rotated the camera weirdly, and made me stand there for literally around ten seconds while the cat ran so far away and at such a camera angle that I have no idea where it went. Then it told me to go get the cat.

Fuck you too, game.

[sincere]

...it's Serah's cat. She's named Snow. XD

[sincere]

LIVE TRIGGER: Noel insinuates that her friends, NORA minions, have become like family to her.

"If only Snow was here..."
"The cat is my only family!"
"If only Lightning was here..."
"Why don't you settle down here, too?"

I would have chosen Lightning if not for everyone suggesting Serah wants in Noel's huge Hammerpants. I'm choosing Snow.

[temples]

You're successfully making me want to play this game.

[sincere]

/looks back at long list of complaints

:|a