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Kingdom Hearts does WoW
Public service announcement: If you play Kingdom Hearts, World of Warcraft, or both, then you should know about this.
The Organization
In spite of what it looks like, probably the most efficient of the three guilds when they set their minds to it. They don't develop sentimental attachment to every low-ranking member who comes their way; as long as their core raiders remain, they have no problems ditching whoever they need. Perhaps this callousness is why their numbers remain so small, forcing them to ally with Keyblade Masters! and Last Fantasy for endgame.
Xemnas: guild leader: night elf druid
He wanted the guild name to be longer and more dramatic, but the character limit defeated his grand plans. Does not use /dance, no matter how much you want to see the owlbear shake it.
Xigbar: dwarf hunter
Marksmanship spec. May not even bring his pet on raids. Definitely doesn't bother to rez it if it dies. It's probably a wolf.
Xaldin: human paladin
Has a level 60 shaman alt that he plays in Arathi Basin whenever he's not on guild raids. Needs to be bullied into using blessings. Occasionally shouts "FROSTSHOOOCK!" into Teamspeak for no reason.
Vexen: gnome mage
Ice-spec... duh. Enjoys gnomes for their vocabulary. Spends most of his downtime on raids clicking "Do not Accept" on duel challenges from Axel, but swears up and down that ice-spec is superior to fire-spec. Insists Axel's damage meters are inaccurate.
Lexaeus: main tank: human warrior
Defense-spec. Is one of those warriors who never bothers to tell you the strategy, or what he's attacking, or when he's pulling. Teamspeak was set up so that he would hopefully be more comfortable talking than typing. He may as well be on mute for all they hear from him.
Zexion: gnome warlock
Demonology-spec. Doesn't actually participate in combat except to give commands to his summoned demon. I wish he could have an incubus named Repliku, just so everyone could make jokes about how it's going to eat him someday.
Saix: guild leader's suckup: night elf warrior
Fury-spec, nuff said. Rolls on EVERYTHING. Would have been human, but Xemnas was a nelf, so...
Axel: human mage
Fire-spec, because, um, Axel. Refuses to respec for endgame and somehow is still in the top five DPS every time. Is probably constantly penalized for being late, being unhelpful, being snarky, and doing his damnedest to draw aggro off Lexaeus.
Demyx: human priest
Shadow-spec and just plain terrible. Heals only using renew, spams mind flay and draws aggro and dies constantly, and occasionally wands bosses mercilessly and forgets to heal. Spams /dance every time the group stops for Marluxia's mana.
Edit: The reason Demyx is allowed to exist is because he has Murky, the super rare special NPC murloc pet that once every five minutes has a 1% chance to break out a top hat and cane and burst into Michigan J. Frog-style dance.
Luxord: dwarf rogue
Goblin engineering-spec. Loves nets, shrink rays, death rays, etc. Doesn't ever seem annoyed when they backfire on him. Constantly spams raid with "Luxord appears totally smashed" messages; probably has a macro to drink every few minutes.
Marluxia: main healer: night elf priest
Disc/holy. I know everyone's going, why isn't he a druid? Aside from the tree-hugging, this works better for him. Has to heal the whole group on OXIII raids because Demyx is useless. People are constantly casting Rose Shower on him; still has pink hair.
Larxene: night elf hunter
Survival spec and refuses to stand back and shoot, always wants to stab things. Should have been a rogue. Names her pets after other players and snickers when they think it's a compliment. Uses /dance way too often.
Roxas: human rogue
Dual-wield, because, Roxas. Doesn't know why he's in this guild full of morons, but knows that he couldn't be in Sora's guild, because they're all so nice it makes his teeth ache.
Keyblade Masters!
Founded by Sora one day on a lark for him and his buddies. He has no particular entry requirements and no particular rules once you're there, except that you not make an ass of yourself under his guild tag. Because of their laid-back atmosphere, large number of level 60s, raiding status, and willingness to help others, KM! is one of the bigger guilds on the server. But because so many of them are "casuals", it's difficult for them to get 40 of them on at the same time. But they can almost always fill in the blanks if they ally with other guilds...
Roxas was a member of this guild for about five days once.
Sora: guild leader: main tank: night elf druid
Feral spec, probably doesn't know where his heal spells are; not because he doesn't like healing, but because he's always doing something else. When he's not tanking he's DPSing. When he's not DPSing he'stalking on Skype with Roxas trying to be raid mommy.
Riku: night elf rogue
Sword rogue. Is always the one who saps. Constantly compares damage meters with Sora, even when Sora is tanking, just for the bragging rights.
Kairi: main healer: human priest
Holy spec. There are probably better healers, but Sora doesn't bother experimenting. Why? Kairi keeps everyone in his party alive, so it's all good. She has a rogue alt that she started, leveled to 15, and then never did anything with.
Goofy: human warrior
He would've been main tank, but even when he specced for it, he couldn't hold aggro worth a damn. Spams shield strike and shield bash but never uses sunder armor. Is cool with being off-tank and keeping enemy casters annoyed.
Donald: gnome mage
Arcane spec, perhaps. Abuses l33t. Is unintelligible on Teamspeak, but usually sounds very excited.
Mickey: dwarf paladin
Wears an eclectic medley of armor and jumps around like a kangaroo, never signs up for raids in advance, just shows up at the door. If he weren't so GOOD at being a paladin, everyone would be annoyed by him.
Namine: gnome warlock
That adorable little gnomelette that everyone likes. Uses lots of hearts and blushy smilies in chat, but tends to be quiet. Nobody notices that she's a Field Marshal in PVP and the Horde runs at the sight of her.
Minnie: off-healer: dwarf priest
Deep holy spec. One of those priests who would totally be better than Kairi, if Sora cared enough to try. Backup heals Sora whenever she thinks Kairi needs the help, in addition to backup on bosses. Also manages a reasonably impressive amount of holy damage. Like Mickey, is just plain good somehow.
Merlin: human mage
Ice spec. Loves to hand out food and water to the raid and preens when thanked. Occasionally makes snippy comments about those "other" classes that don't have mana.
Jack (Sparrow): human rogue
Sword rogue, secretly a Horde fan. Is extremely half-assed during raids and frequently ninja AFKs, but is always there for loot rolls. Becomes much more focused and active when swapping modes from PVE to PVP.
Jack (Skellington): night elf priest
Is permanently in shadowform or AFKing in shadowmeld. He's so cheerful and charming that everyone enjoys having him on raids despite his lack of healing or, you know, brevity. Has a macro to swap into Christmas gear and /dance whenever the group pauses.
Hercules: human paladin
...yeah, he even does bubble-shield in KH2. But he's not too bright and thinks he's DPS, 2-hander and all. To his credit, he loves using blessings. Just isn't so in tune with the idea of being a tank, or... healer.
Mulan: human mage
Fire-spec. Only PVPs, probably isn't even attuned to endgame events. Also has a level 19 alt, Ping, who is a night elf rogue and does nothing but stalk Warsong Gulch with ridiculously twinked-out gear, IE, dual Crusader enchants and speed potions.
Beast: dwarf hunter
Big. ole. bear pet. Maybe named Prince for irony. Specced beast-mastery. Gets very uncomfortable in raids where he doesn't know everyone, and either becomes defensive or falls quiet. Can be made more comfortable by putting RL spouse into his party.
Belle: human paladin
...what? Heal/tank specced, and will serve whichever way is most convenient. She is 100% support. Probably disenchants any two-handed weapons that come her way. Should have rolled on an RP server; frequently slips "into character" while chatting.
Last Fantasy
They claim to be family-oriented but are growing increasingly more raid-centric. Although steps are being taken to keep them from blowing up into greed, a lot of them seem to prefer it that way.
Leon: guild leader: human paladin
Has opinions on things, but very rarely voices them outside of officer chat. Used to be a warrior main ("Squall"), but then Seph and Cloud were recruited and started bitching each other for MT rights. Leon rerolled a pally to avoid the conflict and make himself useful.
Aerith: the one everyone thinks is guild leader: human priest
The officer who actually makes all the announcements and takes all the responsibility and gets all the complaints. Disc/holy, and heals everyone in the raid constantly, but can't for the life of her remember how to do damage. Prefers questing to endgame raids.
Sephiroth: main tank: night elf warrior
Joined the guild at the same time as Cloud. Enjoys being gentle and cooperative in order to make Cloud look like a jerk. Was appointed main tank by the guild's healers, who insist that he's "easier to heal" than Cloud, and even respecced to defense to please them (...and make Cloud look like a jerk).
Cloud: off-tank: human warrior
Joined the guild at the same time as Sephiroth. Always looks like a jerk for throwing hissy fits about Sephiroth's behavior. Resents being passed over as MT. Has a macro to demand heals every time he reaches 30% health, thus annoying the healers further.
Yuffie: gnome rogue
Specced gold-farming. Is 300 mining and 300 herbalism, has a macro that constantly swaps between the two on her minimap. Mourns all the leather that she has to leave for other people to skin. Is very laid-back and cheerful in her approach to raids. Might be "shaving a bit off the top" when she turns over her ores to the guild.
Tifa: human rogue
Hardcore with DPS, but has weird quirks -- prefers fist weapons when at all possible, for instance. Appears to have developed an internet crush on Cloud, but he's too distracted by testosterone to notice and/or too neurotic to even hint at his personal feelings.
Seifer: night elf hunter
Marksmanship specced. Is always the one in guildchat mocking the leaders, the tanks; brags constantly about his gear and his latest AB match, hazes all the newcomers, and complains constantly about how late major raids start. Is 10 years old in real life.
Raijin: night elf hunter
Combat spec. Loves to PVP but inevitably just gets in the way and dies a lot on any real raid attempts. Is 12 years old and Seifer's brother.
Fuujin: gnome warlock
Doesn't like soulstoning. Doesn't like taxiing. Doesn't like raiding, PVPing, or questing. Doesn't like you. Doesn't really like WoW. Is 16 and Seifer's sister; plays mostly to make sure that hre brothers aren't getting themselves in trouble.
Cid: dwarf hunter
Marksmanship. PVP, again. Has 300 engineering. Periodically goes into Horde towns and snipes at
Yuna: human priest; night elf druid
Rikku: human rogue; night elf druid
Paine: human warrior; night elf druid
These girls had level 60s before they met, and then all re-rolled together in a fit of boredom. They refuse to play without the other two. They all became night elf druids. Girldruid power!
Tidus:
Yuna's boyfriend, left rather high and dry when she re-rolled.
Setzer: human mage
Fire/arcane spec, loveses his trinkets. Has ridiculous amounts of +damage gear, some of the best in the game. Whenever there's a dice roll, Setzer somehow manages to win it. Is accused often of having dice hacks. He just smirks.
Auron: not in guild: undead warrior
The Organization
In spite of what it looks like, probably the most efficient of the three guilds when they set their minds to it. They don't develop sentimental attachment to every low-ranking member who comes their way; as long as their core raiders remain, they have no problems ditching whoever they need. Perhaps this callousness is why their numbers remain so small, forcing them to ally with Keyblade Masters! and Last Fantasy for endgame.
Xemnas: guild leader: night elf druid
He wanted the guild name to be longer and more dramatic, but the character limit defeated his grand plans. Does not use /dance, no matter how much you want to see the owlbear shake it.
Xigbar: dwarf hunter
Marksmanship spec. May not even bring his pet on raids. Definitely doesn't bother to rez it if it dies. It's probably a wolf.
Xaldin: human paladin
Has a level 60 shaman alt that he plays in Arathi Basin whenever he's not on guild raids. Needs to be bullied into using blessings. Occasionally shouts "FROSTSHOOOCK!" into Teamspeak for no reason.
Vexen: gnome mage
Ice-spec... duh. Enjoys gnomes for their vocabulary. Spends most of his downtime on raids clicking "Do not Accept" on duel challenges from Axel, but swears up and down that ice-spec is superior to fire-spec. Insists Axel's damage meters are inaccurate.
Lexaeus: main tank: human warrior
Defense-spec. Is one of those warriors who never bothers to tell you the strategy, or what he's attacking, or when he's pulling. Teamspeak was set up so that he would hopefully be more comfortable talking than typing. He may as well be on mute for all they hear from him.
Zexion: gnome warlock
Demonology-spec. Doesn't actually participate in combat except to give commands to his summoned demon. I wish he could have an incubus named Repliku, just so everyone could make jokes about how it's going to eat him someday.
Saix: guild leader's suckup: night elf warrior
Fury-spec, nuff said. Rolls on EVERYTHING. Would have been human, but Xemnas was a nelf, so...
Axel: human mage
Fire-spec, because, um, Axel. Refuses to respec for endgame and somehow is still in the top five DPS every time. Is probably constantly penalized for being late, being unhelpful, being snarky, and doing his damnedest to draw aggro off Lexaeus.
Demyx: human priest
Shadow-spec and just plain terrible. Heals only using renew, spams mind flay and draws aggro and dies constantly, and occasionally wands bosses mercilessly and forgets to heal. Spams /dance every time the group stops for Marluxia's mana.
Edit: The reason Demyx is allowed to exist is because he has Murky, the super rare special NPC murloc pet that once every five minutes has a 1% chance to break out a top hat and cane and burst into Michigan J. Frog-style dance.
Luxord: dwarf rogue
Goblin engineering-spec. Loves nets, shrink rays, death rays, etc. Doesn't ever seem annoyed when they backfire on him. Constantly spams raid with "Luxord appears totally smashed" messages; probably has a macro to drink every few minutes.
Marluxia: main healer: night elf priest
Disc/holy. I know everyone's going, why isn't he a druid? Aside from the tree-hugging, this works better for him. Has to heal the whole group on OXIII raids because Demyx is useless. People are constantly casting Rose Shower on him; still has pink hair.
Larxene: night elf hunter
Survival spec and refuses to stand back and shoot, always wants to stab things. Should have been a rogue. Names her pets after other players and snickers when they think it's a compliment. Uses /dance way too often.
Roxas: human rogue
Dual-wield, because, Roxas. Doesn't know why he's in this guild full of morons, but knows that he couldn't be in Sora's guild, because they're all so nice it makes his teeth ache.
Keyblade Masters!
Founded by Sora one day on a lark for him and his buddies. He has no particular entry requirements and no particular rules once you're there, except that you not make an ass of yourself under his guild tag. Because of their laid-back atmosphere, large number of level 60s, raiding status, and willingness to help others, KM! is one of the bigger guilds on the server. But because so many of them are "casuals", it's difficult for them to get 40 of them on at the same time. But they can almost always fill in the blanks if they ally with other guilds...
Roxas was a member of this guild for about five days once.
Sora: guild leader: main tank: night elf druid
Feral spec, probably doesn't know where his heal spells are; not because he doesn't like healing, but because he's always doing something else. When he's not tanking he's DPSing. When he's not DPSing he's
Riku: night elf rogue
Sword rogue. Is always the one who saps. Constantly compares damage meters with Sora, even when Sora is tanking, just for the bragging rights.
Kairi: main healer: human priest
Holy spec. There are probably better healers, but Sora doesn't bother experimenting. Why? Kairi keeps everyone in his party alive, so it's all good. She has a rogue alt that she started, leveled to 15, and then never did anything with.
Goofy: human warrior
He would've been main tank, but even when he specced for it, he couldn't hold aggro worth a damn. Spams shield strike and shield bash but never uses sunder armor. Is cool with being off-tank and keeping enemy casters annoyed.
Donald: gnome mage
Arcane spec, perhaps. Abuses l33t. Is unintelligible on Teamspeak, but usually sounds very excited.
Mickey: dwarf paladin
Wears an eclectic medley of armor and jumps around like a kangaroo, never signs up for raids in advance, just shows up at the door. If he weren't so GOOD at being a paladin, everyone would be annoyed by him.
Namine: gnome warlock
That adorable little gnomelette that everyone likes. Uses lots of hearts and blushy smilies in chat, but tends to be quiet. Nobody notices that she's a Field Marshal in PVP and the Horde runs at the sight of her.
Minnie: off-healer: dwarf priest
Deep holy spec. One of those priests who would totally be better than Kairi, if Sora cared enough to try. Backup heals Sora whenever she thinks Kairi needs the help, in addition to backup on bosses. Also manages a reasonably impressive amount of holy damage. Like Mickey, is just plain good somehow.
Merlin: human mage
Ice spec. Loves to hand out food and water to the raid and preens when thanked. Occasionally makes snippy comments about those "other" classes that don't have mana.
Jack (Sparrow): human rogue
Sword rogue, secretly a Horde fan. Is extremely half-assed during raids and frequently ninja AFKs, but is always there for loot rolls. Becomes much more focused and active when swapping modes from PVE to PVP.
Jack (Skellington): night elf priest
Is permanently in shadowform or AFKing in shadowmeld. He's so cheerful and charming that everyone enjoys having him on raids despite his lack of healing or, you know, brevity. Has a macro to swap into Christmas gear and /dance whenever the group pauses.
Hercules: human paladin
...yeah, he even does bubble-shield in KH2. But he's not too bright and thinks he's DPS, 2-hander and all. To his credit, he loves using blessings. Just isn't so in tune with the idea of being a tank, or... healer.
Mulan: human mage
Fire-spec. Only PVPs, probably isn't even attuned to endgame events. Also has a level 19 alt, Ping, who is a night elf rogue and does nothing but stalk Warsong Gulch with ridiculously twinked-out gear, IE, dual Crusader enchants and speed potions.
Beast: dwarf hunter
Big. ole. bear pet. Maybe named Prince for irony. Specced beast-mastery. Gets very uncomfortable in raids where he doesn't know everyone, and either becomes defensive or falls quiet. Can be made more comfortable by putting RL spouse into his party.
Belle: human paladin
...what? Heal/tank specced, and will serve whichever way is most convenient. She is 100% support. Probably disenchants any two-handed weapons that come her way. Should have rolled on an RP server; frequently slips "into character" while chatting.
Last Fantasy
They claim to be family-oriented but are growing increasingly more raid-centric. Although steps are being taken to keep them from blowing up into greed, a lot of them seem to prefer it that way.
Leon: guild leader: human paladin
Has opinions on things, but very rarely voices them outside of officer chat. Used to be a warrior main ("Squall"), but then Seph and Cloud were recruited and started bitching each other for MT rights. Leon rerolled a pally to avoid the conflict and make himself useful.
Aerith: the one everyone thinks is guild leader: human priest
The officer who actually makes all the announcements and takes all the responsibility and gets all the complaints. Disc/holy, and heals everyone in the raid constantly, but can't for the life of her remember how to do damage. Prefers questing to endgame raids.
Sephiroth: main tank: night elf warrior
Joined the guild at the same time as Cloud. Enjoys being gentle and cooperative in order to make Cloud look like a jerk. Was appointed main tank by the guild's healers, who insist that he's "easier to heal" than Cloud, and even respecced to defense to please them (...and make Cloud look like a jerk).
Cloud: off-tank: human warrior
Joined the guild at the same time as Sephiroth. Always looks like a jerk for throwing hissy fits about Sephiroth's behavior. Resents being passed over as MT. Has a macro to demand heals every time he reaches 30% health, thus annoying the healers further.
Yuffie: gnome rogue
Specced gold-farming. Is 300 mining and 300 herbalism, has a macro that constantly swaps between the two on her minimap. Mourns all the leather that she has to leave for other people to skin. Is very laid-back and cheerful in her approach to raids. Might be "shaving a bit off the top" when she turns over her ores to the guild.
Tifa: human rogue
Hardcore with DPS, but has weird quirks -- prefers fist weapons when at all possible, for instance. Appears to have developed an internet crush on Cloud, but he's too distracted by testosterone to notice and/or too neurotic to even hint at his personal feelings.
Seifer: night elf hunter
Marksmanship specced. Is always the one in guildchat mocking the leaders, the tanks; brags constantly about his gear and his latest AB match, hazes all the newcomers, and complains constantly about how late major raids start. Is 10 years old in real life.
Raijin: night elf hunter
Combat spec. Loves to PVP but inevitably just gets in the way and dies a lot on any real raid attempts. Is 12 years old and Seifer's brother.
Fuujin: gnome warlock
Doesn't like soulstoning. Doesn't like taxiing. Doesn't like raiding, PVPing, or questing. Doesn't like you. Doesn't really like WoW. Is 16 and Seifer's sister; plays mostly to make sure that hre brothers aren't getting themselves in trouble.
Cid: dwarf hunter
Marksmanship. PVP, again. Has 300 engineering. Periodically goes into Horde towns and snipes at
Yuna: human priest; night elf druid
Rikku: human rogue; night elf druid
Paine: human warrior; night elf druid
These girls had level 60s before they met, and then all re-rolled together in a fit of boredom. They refuse to play without the other two. They all became night elf druids. Girldruid power!
Tidus:
Yuna's boyfriend, left rather high and dry when she re-rolled.
Setzer: human mage
Fire/arcane spec, loveses his trinkets. Has ridiculous amounts of +damage gear, some of the best in the game. Whenever there's a dice roll, Setzer somehow manages to win it. Is accused often of having dice hacks. He just smirks.
Auron: not in guild: undead warrior
Re: It's not so much the WoW as the expanded banter opportunities
I THINK I LOVE YOU.