![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Family Update
(WINAMP SKIN NOTE: Cain from Count Cain, which is appropriate, considering that family-murdering seems to be going around on the California side.)
I know none of you actually care about my family, but you may want to read this anyway. It amuses me, at least.
It all started with Great-Uncle Sheldon -- my maternal grandmother's brother -- and how he married this woman who didn't like his children. Those of you who know my mother's side of the family are already holding your breath in excitement at the dementia and weird that is to follow.
Uncle Sheldon's wife was not wild about any of his three kids, but most of them turned out okay. However, his only daughter, Stacey, had some problems with her. They argued a lot and Wife was snide and kind of insulting to Stacey, and I believe hit her once. Okay, now, we all sincerely believe that this is wrong and can see that this will cause problems, but Stacey appears to have taken it and run away with it and built it into this TEMPLE.
Today Aunt Stacey is married and has two kids of her own, my [second] cousins Benjamin and Sara. Benjamin is a year older than me, and Sara is several years younger. They live in California, which is the perfect state for them. Aunt Stacey is VERY proud of her psychological issues, BRAGS about going to psychiatrists for up to eight hours a week, and will wield her disorders like weapons. She is also extremely condescending. The whole family secretly wishes she would die, including Uncle Sheldon and possibly her long-suffering husband Uncle Craig (not related to Aunt Stacey's brother Uncle Craig).
We didn't think Benjamin would take it that far. See, I remember Cousin Benjamin as being a mild, shy, and extremely dorky little boy. I remember him on a vacation we went on when we were around 12, when he wore striped polo shirts and carried around his handheld Wheel of Fortune game and we played that game for hours and hours. We were major dorks together. Everybody gushed about how bright his future was because he was really, really smart, and he'd been on a Cheers episode -- he played, like, the trombone or something in some elementary marching school band that made a random appearance.
When we went to Las Vegas about four years ago, I got some new news about Benjamin. He had run away and was living in a car somewhere. Stacey was very proud to have something new to bitch about, and blame everything on him, because I'm sure living with the shrewish harpy didn't do that even remotely to him. I also remember little Sara (who is mildly retarded) walking around the streets of Las Vegas and acting like a drama queen thanks to the brilliant care of Aunt Stacey -- I can still vividly recall wanting to smack her when she would hack and choke and cough dramatically because people on the other side of the highway were smoking.
Okay, whatever. No news for the next few years.
My mother keeps giving me updates now. Apparently, Benjamin became a heroin addict at some point, and the next time he went home he tried to smother Aunt Stacey to death in her sleep with a pillow. They got a restraining order placed on him and he was put into rehab, where he appeared to be doing just fine for several months and then tried to kill himself out of the blue one day. Just recently he went home and tried to force them to give him money, and when they refused, he picked up a carving knife and stabbed Uncle Craig (not related to Aunt Stacey's brother Uncle Craig).
He's in jail now awaiting transportation to a psychiatric ward. I just keep thinking: Benjamin? The dorky kid in the striped polo shirts that I played Wheel of Fortune with? Dude, he was my favorite cousin. What does living with Aunt Stacey do to a person?
They so belong in California. Val predicts that Benjamin's next move will be to kill a dog and leave it on Aunt Stacey's doorstep. WHOO! I can't wait until Uncle Sheldon and Uncle Craig (not related to Aunt Stacey's husband Uncle Craig) come pay us a visit for Thanksgiving. Boy, the conversation I can anticipate! Safe from where I'll be with my father's family.
In other news, I hate starting things, so NaNoWriMo is only just beginning to get underway for me, and I hate all the people who have been in the 30,000 word area for days. On the other hand, I have a new 120GB external hard drive that sings for me, and would sing more if only I had a high-speed USB port, which apparently I don't. *siiiigh* I love it anyway.
I know none of you actually care about my family, but you may want to read this anyway. It amuses me, at least.
It all started with Great-Uncle Sheldon -- my maternal grandmother's brother -- and how he married this woman who didn't like his children. Those of you who know my mother's side of the family are already holding your breath in excitement at the dementia and weird that is to follow.
Uncle Sheldon's wife was not wild about any of his three kids, but most of them turned out okay. However, his only daughter, Stacey, had some problems with her. They argued a lot and Wife was snide and kind of insulting to Stacey, and I believe hit her once. Okay, now, we all sincerely believe that this is wrong and can see that this will cause problems, but Stacey appears to have taken it and run away with it and built it into this TEMPLE.
Today Aunt Stacey is married and has two kids of her own, my [second] cousins Benjamin and Sara. Benjamin is a year older than me, and Sara is several years younger. They live in California, which is the perfect state for them. Aunt Stacey is VERY proud of her psychological issues, BRAGS about going to psychiatrists for up to eight hours a week, and will wield her disorders like weapons. She is also extremely condescending. The whole family secretly wishes she would die, including Uncle Sheldon and possibly her long-suffering husband Uncle Craig (not related to Aunt Stacey's brother Uncle Craig).
We didn't think Benjamin would take it that far. See, I remember Cousin Benjamin as being a mild, shy, and extremely dorky little boy. I remember him on a vacation we went on when we were around 12, when he wore striped polo shirts and carried around his handheld Wheel of Fortune game and we played that game for hours and hours. We were major dorks together. Everybody gushed about how bright his future was because he was really, really smart, and he'd been on a Cheers episode -- he played, like, the trombone or something in some elementary marching school band that made a random appearance.
When we went to Las Vegas about four years ago, I got some new news about Benjamin. He had run away and was living in a car somewhere. Stacey was very proud to have something new to bitch about, and blame everything on him, because I'm sure living with the shrewish harpy didn't do that even remotely to him. I also remember little Sara (who is mildly retarded) walking around the streets of Las Vegas and acting like a drama queen thanks to the brilliant care of Aunt Stacey -- I can still vividly recall wanting to smack her when she would hack and choke and cough dramatically because people on the other side of the highway were smoking.
Okay, whatever. No news for the next few years.
My mother keeps giving me updates now. Apparently, Benjamin became a heroin addict at some point, and the next time he went home he tried to smother Aunt Stacey to death in her sleep with a pillow. They got a restraining order placed on him and he was put into rehab, where he appeared to be doing just fine for several months and then tried to kill himself out of the blue one day. Just recently he went home and tried to force them to give him money, and when they refused, he picked up a carving knife and stabbed Uncle Craig (not related to Aunt Stacey's brother Uncle Craig).
He's in jail now awaiting transportation to a psychiatric ward. I just keep thinking: Benjamin? The dorky kid in the striped polo shirts that I played Wheel of Fortune with? Dude, he was my favorite cousin. What does living with Aunt Stacey do to a person?
They so belong in California. Val predicts that Benjamin's next move will be to kill a dog and leave it on Aunt Stacey's doorstep. WHOO! I can't wait until Uncle Sheldon and Uncle Craig (not related to Aunt Stacey's husband Uncle Craig) come pay us a visit for Thanksgiving. Boy, the conversation I can anticipate! Safe from where I'll be with my father's family.
In other news, I hate starting things, so NaNoWriMo is only just beginning to get underway for me, and I hate all the people who have been in the 30,000 word area for days. On the other hand, I have a new 120GB external hard drive that sings for me, and would sing more if only I had a high-speed USB port, which apparently I don't. *siiiigh* I love it anyway.
no subject
no subject
I shouldn't be upset about the heroin addict stabbing his father over drug money! It's his mother's fault. ^^;;;; That's what people will say about me someday. XD
no subject