sincere: DGM: Lenalee's back to the viewer ([dgm-allen] boy playing at hero)
Kay ([personal profile] sincere) wrote2008-11-13 01:09 am

Gloom! The despairing hand of the future

I'm entering (re-entering?) this bleak period. Everything looks depressing.

It's been eight months since I worked and I keep getting nervous about my remaining savings, even though I totally have enough to last until next summer when I can move. I've only once even had an interview in that time, despite applying frequently. My mother keeps yelling at me about how I'm not doing it (anything) right. My parents offered to buy me plane tickets to come back to NY to spend the holiday with my family and I literally kind of freaked out because the very idea of going home stressed me out so much. I'm also so paranoid and worried about collecting unemployment I've actually decided to take a break from it.

I'm unhappy with at least something in all of my RPs, I have very little inspiration, either to write or to play. I feel terrible about having all this free time and not making any progress on my original works. I wanted to make a new RP but I'm just dismal about the prospects of it being anything other than yet more utter failure.

I have bad skin and I'll never meet anyone. :( Also no one likes my fanfics.

It'd be nice if I could just... stop the future. I don't want Christmas to come. I don't want more rent and utilities to come around. I don't want things to keep costing money when I don't have income. I just want to finish Earthbound and Tales of Vesperia. And for Barack Obama to get inaugurated. Everything about his win still makes me happy.

TL;DR - MOPE MOPE WHINE CRY

[identity profile] tsaiko.livejournal.com 2008-11-13 01:22 pm (UTC)(link)
*hugs*

I like your fanfics.

Also, I make this offer to everyone on my friend's list. I use to work for a recruiter (head hunter). One of my job duties was to review resumes. If you'd like someone to take a look at yours and give you feedback, I'd be more than willing to. I have a pretty good success record when it comes to doing this. ^^

[identity profile] hauntedreality.livejournal.com 2008-11-13 02:09 pm (UTC)(link)
*hugs* I'm sorry you are feeling that way. I know how super lucky I was, but I know how awful it was while it lasted.

And it is even worse when the rest of your life feels off. (But your writing is awesome.)

The two resumes I've designed this year got jobs within a week of being sent out. I'm sure it was purely coincidental, but maybe the luck streak will keep up? I'd be happy to take a look at yours and see if there is anything I could do to make it stand out.

[personal profile] vangirl 2008-11-13 03:40 pm (UTC)(link)
*hugs* It seems a lot of people are feeling this way, or at least I know I do too. Going a long time without being employed is depressing, especially when things are uncertain about when you'll get an income again.

At the very least you have sufficent savings for a while longer? Maybe you can think of creative ways to make money, maybe sell things on your journal if you're into crafts or see if there's any services that your flist would pay for?

[identity profile] maladaptive.livejournal.com 2008-11-13 03:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh honey, I too have bad skin. It's not much but I can send you some things for Christmas. They rock hard, I swear!

I wish I could help with the other things, though.
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[identity profile] kay-willow.livejournal.com 2008-11-13 03:42 pm (UTC)(link)
*_* That would be wonderful. I don't know how much can be done to help, because I'm in a terrible position (I have a graduate degree in a totally random field and one year of experience in a totally different random field, so I'm over-educated, under-experienced, and schizophrenic-looking) but I would love you for trying!

Also, I'm glad. ♥
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[identity profile] kay-willow.livejournal.com 2008-11-13 03:47 pm (UTC)(link)
I would love it if you'd look, but as I told [livejournal.com profile] tsaiko, I don't have anything... substantial to put on a resume. XD No matter how pretty I make it, it won't change my lack of experience and ridiculous education.

*hugs~* Thanks for the offer, all the same. ♥

[identity profile] tsaiko.livejournal.com 2008-11-13 03:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Just email me at tsaiko @ gmail.com and I'll look it over. And don't worry about being over-educated and under experienced. I know tricks to compensate for that. Let me see what I can do.

What kind of job are you looking for? If you are looking in more than one field, let me know and I'll help you make a few different resumes suited to each field.
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[identity profile] kay-willow.livejournal.com 2008-11-13 04:49 pm (UTC)(link)
I've never experienced this time-of-the-year moodiness before. Blah. It's lame. It's barely even winter where I am, we still have 70 degree days every now and again. What is this nonsense.

All I'm good at is writing, and people don't like writing as much as they like art. XD Now is clearly the time to learn to draw art that people will commission me for, though, man.
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[identity profile] kay-willow.livejournal.com 2008-11-13 04:50 pm (UTC)(link)


I'll survive. I'm just moping and I don't even like doing that. XD But thank you for the support anyway, la.

[identity profile] tsaiko.livejournal.com 2008-11-13 04:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Revisions sent! And now, I have got to go to lunch before I starve.

[identity profile] apapazukamori.livejournal.com 2008-11-13 05:02 pm (UTC)(link)
It's a crime that more people don't comment on your fic. >E

[identity profile] phinnia.livejournal.com 2008-11-13 05:04 pm (UTC)(link)
*hughughug*

[identity profile] voicing.livejournal.com 2008-11-13 06:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, I like your fanfics!

It must be the season. Everyone seems to feel down around this time. :(

As I've said before, feel free to e-mail me (or IM me, should the planets align and I actually log in) to vent at anytime. ♥

*huggles*

[identity profile] mewtwowarrior.livejournal.com 2008-11-13 09:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Sorry to hear things are going pretty rough with you lately...

I hear you about RP problems, most of mine aren't going right, either. *hugs* I'm sure your new RP idea won't be a failure, and even if it is, you can still have fun making it and leave it for later. ^_^

I'd offer to maybe RP with you, but I don't know what you like to RP, or if you'd like the way I RP. ^_^

*huggles* Hopefully things will cheer up for you soon!

[identity profile] madfnorder.livejournal.com 2008-11-13 10:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Heya. Hang in there.

[identity profile] p-sky.livejournal.com 2008-11-14 01:06 am (UTC)(link)
Awww... don't worry too much >< To start off, I love your fanfics (all of them)~ Also, I have bad skin too but... whatever. These things happen.

Don't let the stress and worry get to you D= It's bad for your health...

[identity profile] poisonangel7.livejournal.com 2008-11-14 02:38 am (UTC)(link)
I'd be happy to help if I can. Why don't you send me whatever you end up revising with [livejournal.com profile] tsaiko and I'll see if there is anything I can do.

You'll find just the right place that fits you. I know how awful looking is. You feel ill-suited for everything no matter how many skills you have. But you have mad skills and whoever gets you will be so lucky!

*hugs*

[identity profile] gatafairy.livejournal.com 2008-11-15 01:34 am (UTC)(link)
I miss you, Kay. ): ♥

[identity profile] hcb-chibi.livejournal.com 2008-11-16 12:36 am (UTC)(link)
I'm sorry things are going so badly for you. I wish I could help somehow! And I can sympathize, family freaks me out, too sometimes.
But here's one thing I can say:
I absolutely LOVE your fanfics! I know I haven't commented much, but I don't comment much in general because I think I sound like a retarded fangirl whenever I do. But you're really, really talented! I read your stuff for inspiration when I try to write stuff! My sister has to deal with me wailing about how you write so well and my own stuff will ever compare etcetera etcetera!
...
I would pay for stories. I really would. Can I commission a fic right now? And pay you with Paypal or something?
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[identity profile] kay-willow.livejournal.com 2008-11-16 04:50 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, maybe it's just the time of year. *huddles* Thank you so much for your hearts and offers and reaffirmation. :D
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[identity profile] kay-willow.livejournal.com 2008-11-16 04:52 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you so much for commenting to cheer me up. ♥ I'm sure things'll get better soon, I'm not good at being very depressed. XD
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[identity profile] kay-willow.livejournal.com 2008-11-16 04:52 am (UTC)(link)
*salute!*
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[identity profile] kay-willow.livejournal.com 2008-11-16 04:55 am (UTC)(link)
♥ Thanks so much. I'm really glad to hear it. :3 And I'll try, despite sob so many things to worry about. XD

And ahaha thanks for the shout-out from the HB chat the other night. XD I felt special!
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[identity profile] kay-willow.livejournal.com 2008-11-16 04:56 am (UTC)(link)
... *loves*
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[identity profile] kay-willow.livejournal.com 2008-11-16 05:13 am (UTC)(link)
That is so sweet of you, and I'm really touched and pleased. XD I'd be delighted to do a Paypal fic commission thing with you, and what you suggested in PM is more than fair. I think you still have my email address, so let me know what you're interested in! :3

[identity profile] mewtwowarrior.livejournal.com 2008-11-16 08:26 am (UTC)(link)
^_^ You are very welcome, glad I could help! ^_^ lol, that's good! <3 ^_^ lol, I'm not too good at being depressed myself. XD