sincere: DGM: Lenalee's back to the viewer ([dgm-allen] boy playing at hero)
Kay ([personal profile] sincere) wrote2008-11-13 01:09 am

Gloom! The despairing hand of the future

I'm entering (re-entering?) this bleak period. Everything looks depressing.

It's been eight months since I worked and I keep getting nervous about my remaining savings, even though I totally have enough to last until next summer when I can move. I've only once even had an interview in that time, despite applying frequently. My mother keeps yelling at me about how I'm not doing it (anything) right. My parents offered to buy me plane tickets to come back to NY to spend the holiday with my family and I literally kind of freaked out because the very idea of going home stressed me out so much. I'm also so paranoid and worried about collecting unemployment I've actually decided to take a break from it.

I'm unhappy with at least something in all of my RPs, I have very little inspiration, either to write or to play. I feel terrible about having all this free time and not making any progress on my original works. I wanted to make a new RP but I'm just dismal about the prospects of it being anything other than yet more utter failure.

I have bad skin and I'll never meet anyone. :( Also no one likes my fanfics.

It'd be nice if I could just... stop the future. I don't want Christmas to come. I don't want more rent and utilities to come around. I don't want things to keep costing money when I don't have income. I just want to finish Earthbound and Tales of Vesperia. And for Barack Obama to get inaugurated. Everything about his win still makes me happy.

TL;DR - MOPE MOPE WHINE CRY

[identity profile] hcb-chibi.livejournal.com 2008-11-16 12:36 am (UTC)(link)
I'm sorry things are going so badly for you. I wish I could help somehow! And I can sympathize, family freaks me out, too sometimes.
But here's one thing I can say:
I absolutely LOVE your fanfics! I know I haven't commented much, but I don't comment much in general because I think I sound like a retarded fangirl whenever I do. But you're really, really talented! I read your stuff for inspiration when I try to write stuff! My sister has to deal with me wailing about how you write so well and my own stuff will ever compare etcetera etcetera!
...
I would pay for stories. I really would. Can I commission a fic right now? And pay you with Paypal or something?
ext_52683: (Default)

[identity profile] kay-willow.livejournal.com 2008-11-16 05:13 am (UTC)(link)
That is so sweet of you, and I'm really touched and pleased. XD I'd be delighted to do a Paypal fic commission thing with you, and what you suggested in PM is more than fair. I think you still have my email address, so let me know what you're interested in! :3