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Deliberation! The sinkhole of creativity
I keep worrying so much about RP. I'm losing my drive for it while at the same time I want even more of it. Like, I can't finish a thread with Fran or Bookman at Wasteland, I'm not even looking at the big open log at ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
absolute_hold even though both Cissnei and Allen were supposed to go, but I want to app more people. I want to play Aerith somewhere! And Orihime!
But then I keep worrying. I enjoy the idea of playing a KH!Aerith in a game with Zack (and Poison Ivy), so Wasteland. But the Zack player is everywhere, so I worry if I can't keep up, she'd get left behind and he wouldn't keep at it; if he isn't going to keep after her (and he should, *sobs over the last fifteen minutes of crisis core*) then maybe I should instead app a properly FF!Aerith, even though it'd be less fun. But the last time I tugged on the mun's sleeve to talk to him about it, he never responded to my IM...
Then I want to be Orihime, despite the fact that there's no Bleach cast at WL, because she's so fun and has so many beautiful icons. And then I think, really? Allen, Peony, Orihime, Aerith? I'm just going to be that girl who plays a million shades of nice, humanitarian people? Maybe I should play a villain. Someone who's just bad. Or even someone who's just tsundere like Asch or something. (Maybe if the Dist player gets in and that person who reserved Luke ever apps.) I feel pretty bad about having only protagonists. XD I mean, I go, "I'd like to play Yuri or Flynn or Estelle or," and then I'm like oh god more good moral types.
I could app Orihime at AT, but I'm hardly paying attention to AT right now -- logging tests my distracted inspirationless groove, even though I really need to get them in there -- and the only Bleach cast there are shinigami and villains, which is in my opinion more awkward than having no cast at all.
What villains do I like and could work with in a setting like Wasteland? Not really Aizen or Marluxia, although I don't want to play the latter anymore anyway: it's hard to play them "powerless", out of control. Maybe Mithos. Mithos could be fun...
And then of course there's the fact that I have zero writing mojo. Whyyyyy.
absolute_hold even though both Cissnei and Allen were supposed to go, but I want to app more people. I want to play Aerith somewhere! And Orihime!But then I keep worrying. I enjoy the idea of playing a KH!Aerith in a game with Zack (and Poison Ivy), so Wasteland. But the Zack player is everywhere, so I worry if I can't keep up, she'd get left behind and he wouldn't keep at it; if he isn't going to keep after her (and he should, *sobs over the last fifteen minutes of crisis core*) then maybe I should instead app a properly FF!Aerith, even though it'd be less fun. But the last time I tugged on the mun's sleeve to talk to him about it, he never responded to my IM...
Then I want to be Orihime, despite the fact that there's no Bleach cast at WL, because she's so fun and has so many beautiful icons. And then I think, really? Allen, Peony, Orihime, Aerith? I'm just going to be that girl who plays a million shades of nice, humanitarian people? Maybe I should play a villain. Someone who's just bad. Or even someone who's just tsundere like Asch or something. (Maybe if the Dist player gets in and that person who reserved Luke ever apps.) I feel pretty bad about having only protagonists. XD I mean, I go, "I'd like to play Yuri or Flynn or Estelle or," and then I'm like oh god more good moral types.
I could app Orihime at AT, but I'm hardly paying attention to AT right now -- logging tests my distracted inspirationless groove, even though I really need to get them in there -- and the only Bleach cast there are shinigami and villains, which is in my opinion more awkward than having no cast at all.
What villains do I like and could work with in a setting like Wasteland? Not really Aizen or Marluxia, although I don't want to play the latter anymore anyway: it's hard to play them "powerless", out of control. Maybe Mithos. Mithos could be fun...
And then of course there's the fact that I have zero writing mojo. Whyyyyy.