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Laws of Attraction hurt me!
Jill Dearman, author of "Queer Astrology for [Insert Gender Here]", is brilliant and hilarious. I read these things not only to play with characters, but because so often what she says is true. In one casual sentence in "Queer Astrology for Women", she solved a long-standing conflict I've had with being a Virgo. To paraphrase, "The Virgo woman is in love with work, first and foremost. This doesn't mean she can't be lazy or unproductive. Why, she could spend whole days surfing the Internet looking up websites on what she wants to find out, in order to avoid actually doing the work."
That's the story of my life.
Note the Second: Is there some astrological deep-seated hatred between Virgos and Scorpios that I should be aware of? Just checking.
Ever seen "Laws of Attraction"? Basically, two divorce lawyers constantly on the opposition get together (he's lovable and unpredictable, she's wacky and control-freakish) and it is romantic comedy twu wuv as per variation number two on the theme. At one point they think that they've been married while in a drunken stupor in Ireland, and she decides to stick it out for the duration of the trial they're on so as not to make too huge a splash (he WANTS them to stay married; he knows loves her).
He finds a piece of paper she's written on with some information about her client that she was asked to keep strictly confidential. It's none of his business and something he entirely should not be able to use in court and really has nothing to do with the case. Only a total asshat would abuse the fact that he's living with the defense lawyer and has access to her garbage to aid the prosecution.
So naturally he uses the bit of information -- almost as a punchline for emphasis more than anything else. She is horribly betrayed and her client throws a fit and storms off, and she tells him that they are TOTALLY getting a divorce and RIGHT NOW, mister. At first he tries to say that it was a mistake, he saw it by accident -- but that's just not cutting it with me, asshat, sorry, just because you SAW it doesn't mean you have to USE it. Then when she's not convinced, he shifts to, "I don't believe in getting divorces. I believe in working out your differences."
And SHE is suddenly the bad guy because SHE wants a divorce from their drunken marriage two days ago which he has so quickly turned to his advantage. It's as if the fact that he's done something totally despicable is meant to be forgotten because OMG she isn't willing to fight to make this marriage work!!!1 The rest of the movie carries on emotional momentum: she is the bad person and must realize this and go apologize to him. In the end she doesn't even tell him "But if you ever do that again I'll kill you." No, she's just Learned Her Lesson About Divorce Being Bad.
The whole movie long I said to myself, "There's nothing original about this movie and it's pretty cliche, but it's enjoyable. I don't mind watching it, it's kinda fun." But the ending made me want to kill everyone involved.
That's the story of my life.
Note the Second: Is there some astrological deep-seated hatred between Virgos and Scorpios that I should be aware of? Just checking.
Ever seen "Laws of Attraction"? Basically, two divorce lawyers constantly on the opposition get together (he's lovable and unpredictable, she's wacky and control-freakish) and it is romantic comedy twu wuv as per variation number two on the theme. At one point they think that they've been married while in a drunken stupor in Ireland, and she decides to stick it out for the duration of the trial they're on so as not to make too huge a splash (he WANTS them to stay married; he knows loves her).
He finds a piece of paper she's written on with some information about her client that she was asked to keep strictly confidential. It's none of his business and something he entirely should not be able to use in court and really has nothing to do with the case. Only a total asshat would abuse the fact that he's living with the defense lawyer and has access to her garbage to aid the prosecution.
So naturally he uses the bit of information -- almost as a punchline for emphasis more than anything else. She is horribly betrayed and her client throws a fit and storms off, and she tells him that they are TOTALLY getting a divorce and RIGHT NOW, mister. At first he tries to say that it was a mistake, he saw it by accident -- but that's just not cutting it with me, asshat, sorry, just because you SAW it doesn't mean you have to USE it. Then when she's not convinced, he shifts to, "I don't believe in getting divorces. I believe in working out your differences."
And SHE is suddenly the bad guy because SHE wants a divorce from their drunken marriage two days ago which he has so quickly turned to his advantage. It's as if the fact that he's done something totally despicable is meant to be forgotten because OMG she isn't willing to fight to make this marriage work!!!1 The rest of the movie carries on emotional momentum: she is the bad person and must realize this and go apologize to him. In the end she doesn't even tell him "But if you ever do that again I'll kill you." No, she's just Learned Her Lesson About Divorce Being Bad.
The whole movie long I said to myself, "There's nothing original about this movie and it's pretty cliche, but it's enjoyable. I don't mind watching it, it's kinda fun." But the ending made me want to kill everyone involved.
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The only things I got out of that movie were: all strippers are sluts that really want to be sexually gratified in abusive relationships (they deserve it!) and it's okay to stalk women, they think it's cute.
Who MAKES this shit, and what worries me more-- people LIKE it.
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Communismconformity. Have you heard about this one? Tim Allen plays a somewhat dreamy husband who wants to whisk his wife away for Christmas on a romantic Caribbean cruise, and the whole neighborhood ostracizes him and is outraged and horrified by this FLAGRANT MISBEHAVIOR -- but fortunately, at the end of the movie, Tim Allen learns the true meaning of Christmas, which is putting up the same chintzy decorations that everyone else has and throwing the same problem that you've always thrown and doing the same thing you do every year.Because clearly, a man who wants to splurge and take his wife on a romantic Caribbean cruise needs to learn a lesson about how to fade into the dull spirit-stealing minutiae of everyday suburbia like the rest of the uninspired mass of humanity that surrounds him.
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WTF? If given the choice I'd take the cruise, dammit! I hate nosy neighbors, too. And if you ever read certain communities that I'm in but shall remain nameless because I really don't know why I'm still in them, you'll know that people really do suck that much. >