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Why does the universe do this to me so consistently?
This is the story of my internship.
In October I started pursuing an internship in English; everyone was harping about it, from department meetings to emails from the honors society to posters all over the walls of the Humanities building. I was very eager to get some work experience because, as most of you know, I am desperately concerned about the fact that I have none, zip, zero, nada, and chances are no one would want to hire me to do anything worth doing with that kind of record. So I went to the internship director two or three times and spoke to her personally about how I would go about applying for an internship, what it would entail, and she seemed very pleased and positive about my interest.
By November I was emailing her asking if we could set up a date where I could meet her to discuss it, because her office hours were all either at obscene hours of the morning or just plain during other classes. She told me, helpfully, to come in during her office hours. She seems like a sweet little woman, but she is totally fucking stupid.
I go in to her office and look through the books where other people comment on their internships, and I'm supposed to select my favorites from there. So she leaves, and I choose three or four of them, along with a small written elaboration of my preferences and a request for her help, and leave it on the desk with all my contact information.
Two fucking weeks later, I haven't heard anything from her and it's almost time to register for classes -- I can't register for an internship without a section key number from her. So, irritated, I send her an email asking what the fuck is going on. Another week later I send a second one. Registration time comes and I still haven't heard from the stupid whore. By the time she finally gets back to me, claiming to have sent me several emails and that she didn't get any of mine, with the section key number I need to register, registration time has already passed. I have to wait another three weeks, until January, before I can register for the stupid internship. Fine. I send her an email informing her that I'm grateful for the SKN and am very happy to hear I haven't just been arbitrarily kicked out of it.
A month later, it's January, and class begins in four days. I haven't heard anything from her. So theoretically I'm registered for an internship or something, but I have not received a single word of how I'm supposed to handle this or where I should go once classes start or what I should be doing or when I'm expected where. So I sent her another email, pointing out to her that I don't have any instructions on what to do, and could she please tell me if there was an internship meeting I should be going to, or if I was supposed to get instructions about where to go and didn't?
Six fucking days later, at the end of the first week of class, she writes back to me, and I swear to fucking god this is the entire contents of her email:
I thought you had dropped out of the internship since you did not respond to
my emails. Which I totally did. You are registered for 490, so that means you used the CPN. Which means that you fucking knew that I had not dropped out of the internship. Do
you still want to do an internship? NO, I REGISTERED AND EMAILED YOU DESPERATELY FOR MY FUCKING HEALTH. Have you arranged a site? Did this stupid whore read a single word of the email I sent her?!
I'm going to take a hatchet to her plump cute smiling Hawaiian-muumuu-clad body.
In October I started pursuing an internship in English; everyone was harping about it, from department meetings to emails from the honors society to posters all over the walls of the Humanities building. I was very eager to get some work experience because, as most of you know, I am desperately concerned about the fact that I have none, zip, zero, nada, and chances are no one would want to hire me to do anything worth doing with that kind of record. So I went to the internship director two or three times and spoke to her personally about how I would go about applying for an internship, what it would entail, and she seemed very pleased and positive about my interest.
By November I was emailing her asking if we could set up a date where I could meet her to discuss it, because her office hours were all either at obscene hours of the morning or just plain during other classes. She told me, helpfully, to come in during her office hours. She seems like a sweet little woman, but she is totally fucking stupid.
I go in to her office and look through the books where other people comment on their internships, and I'm supposed to select my favorites from there. So she leaves, and I choose three or four of them, along with a small written elaboration of my preferences and a request for her help, and leave it on the desk with all my contact information.
Two fucking weeks later, I haven't heard anything from her and it's almost time to register for classes -- I can't register for an internship without a section key number from her. So, irritated, I send her an email asking what the fuck is going on. Another week later I send a second one. Registration time comes and I still haven't heard from the stupid whore. By the time she finally gets back to me, claiming to have sent me several emails and that she didn't get any of mine, with the section key number I need to register, registration time has already passed. I have to wait another three weeks, until January, before I can register for the stupid internship. Fine. I send her an email informing her that I'm grateful for the SKN and am very happy to hear I haven't just been arbitrarily kicked out of it.
A month later, it's January, and class begins in four days. I haven't heard anything from her. So theoretically I'm registered for an internship or something, but I have not received a single word of how I'm supposed to handle this or where I should go once classes start or what I should be doing or when I'm expected where. So I sent her another email, pointing out to her that I don't have any instructions on what to do, and could she please tell me if there was an internship meeting I should be going to, or if I was supposed to get instructions about where to go and didn't?
Six fucking days later, at the end of the first week of class, she writes back to me, and I swear to fucking god this is the entire contents of her email:
I thought you had dropped out of the internship since you did not respond to
my emails. Which I totally did. You are registered for 490, so that means you used the CPN. Which means that you fucking knew that I had not dropped out of the internship. Do
you still want to do an internship? NO, I REGISTERED AND EMAILED YOU DESPERATELY FOR MY FUCKING HEALTH. Have you arranged a site? Did this stupid whore read a single word of the email I sent her?!
I'm going to take a hatchet to her plump cute smiling Hawaiian-muumuu-clad body.
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However, I DID leave her my phone number, and messages in her voice mail, several times, and she always decided to use email instead of fucking calling me. O_o In addition, nothing excuses the fact that even when she DOES get my emails, she seems not to read them, considering the way she asks me stupid questions that are answered if she just looks at the email she's responding to, and doesn't answer anything I asked of her.
So although at first I did, I am no longer making allowances for her because her email sporadically deletes my emails or something.