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Best description of a character ever:

Even dazed and disheveled, he was handsome. He should have been a poet or an artist a hundred years ago; he would have looked absolutely beautiful dying of tuberculosis.
--Mark Anthony, "The Gates of Winter", on Hadrian Farr

A la Josh L

Dear Tokyopop,

Such whorishness has never before been seen by God or Man.

You make the Baby Jesus cry.

Sincerely,
Kay