sincere | Productivity

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Productivity

I was awesomely productive this weekend. Got my car registered in PA, got my epic new license plate with the best default license plate number ever, mailed out all my packages, bought most of my gifts, wrote like 3000 words, did all my Sif tags...! I'm on the ball.

Sadly, I have to go in to work early on Monday and I'm terrified I'm going to be blamed for this latest mishap and I wish I could just live under a rock for the rest of my life.

So it's time for a meme! Since I never do these anymore.

Pick a character I've written and I will explain the top five [or so] ideas/concepts/etc I keep in mind while writing that character that I believe are essential to accurately depicting them.

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1. Loki in Norse mythology is a god of mischief. He's also a frost giant, and a god of fire, and not giant. He's also a sorcerer, among warriors. And he's also a god of gay sex and being unmanly. There's a lot of contradictions and strangeness in there for one guy. I think Loki has always been sort of doomed to not belong -- whether among the Jotun, or the Norse, or the Asgardians, all of them would consider him strange. But I think in MCU Loki is characterized by a deep desire to belong -- he doesn't want to be The Weird Guy, but he is, and so he chooses to [pretend to] be totally, willfully proud of the fact that he doesn't belong. He takes pride in the same things he kind of hates about himself. Then add on the identity confusion and how he thought he was an Asgardian prince but turns out to be an abandoned runt monster... Yeah. Loki is a mass of contradictions and lies, leading to a reluctant outcast sensibility, but a pride in that, a sense of being Queer. He's not like anyone else, and he has to live with that.

2. Loki is crafty and underhanded: that's what he's best at. He likes to manipulate situations and people to an extreme. This is always better than honesty! He doesn't like giving himself away, and partially because he doesn't want his motives to be suspect, since he's already pretty much automatically suspicious to anyone who knows him -- he's a trickster, after all. So when Thor stopped listening to him, and Loki was concerned, he genuinely thought the best way to handle it was to arrange for an attack that would be handled quickly so that Thor could overreact and Odin could see that he wasn't ready and put him in his place. If he'd just said that he didn't think Thor was ready, Thor would be pissed off, and Odin might think he wanted it for himself. So the best solution is to arrange for a lesson, right? WRONG. And that's why we don't teach lessons, Loki!

3. Loki complains about "sentiment" or other gooshy nonsense like five times in his two movies, and he's always called out as avoiding the truth and how he actually feels. So I always have him avoid things that are overly emotional. He eyerolls at declarations of love and he feels stifled by displays of affection (lust, sure, but just genuine affection? ew) and he would almost never admit to his true feelings about anything. So, just as a general practice, if he says something heartfelt and he's not in a super vulnerable place, it's probably a lie, or otherwise a deliberate attempt to manipulate.

4. Gestures don't impress him. This is part of the reason I think platitudes about things being better if he just gives in appeal to him, because he wants things to be better, but they don't mean anything to him. Thor letting him be king isn't the same thing as Loki winning his way to the throne. Thor doing something for the sake of being equal just makes Loki feel their inequality all the more -- because he didn't earn that, Thor deigned to give it to him. It just reinforces what Loki can't get on his own. Loki very strongly feels that it only counts in his favor if he's responsible for it on some level.

5. Pre-canon, I think Loki was at least comfortable with his life, rather than actively unhappy. He had everything he wanted, and a family that cared about him, and a good-natured relationship with Thor, and friends who were just as mean and bratty as he was. But his meddling brought it all down. Post-canon, I think Loki has realized that things have been screwed up completely, and that there's no way to go back to what he had before. The only way he can be happy again is by finding an alternative. Showing everyone they were wrong about him -- by kicking their asses and becoming lord over all of them -- is one way to do that. The alternative is to make everyone just as miserable as he is. Either way, he... wins?

ANGST ANGST ANGST. Why do all your things have to make me feel bad for these two.

1.) Ouch. ~~Also, I love that he is literally god of gay sex and unmanliness.~~ I do love this inherent contradiction here. Poor damaged bb, he doesn't even want what he wants half the time.

2.) "That's why we don't teach lessons, Loki!" is my favorite anything, ever (how is it not part of the Arrested Avengers meme!), and also so true. Honesty makes Loki break out in hives.

3.) Especially honesty about FEEEEELINGS. /pets him

4.) :|a This one is especially interesting. And, of course, I agree! Because I agree with you about everything and have no thoughts of my own that you didn't apparently have first. :(

5.) /absorbabsorb sob. Winning indeed.

This is why Loki wants someone else to take the reins, isn't it? He just can't stop making things worse, as long as he has the freedom to do so.