Network television, you're on notice

[sincere]

Network Executive: So how should we handle streaming content regarding our currently-airing shows?
Flunky: Why can't we just let them watch all the current episodes, sir?
Network Executive: What are you, crazy?! Then anyone would be able to watch our show, even if they hadn't been watching it for eight weeks already!
Flunky: But... isn't that what we...?
Go-Getter: Sir, how about if we allow anyone to watch the first three or so episodes... and then give them no way to watch the rest?
Network Executive: Genius!! That way the people who get interested in the show late will either be forced to resort to piracy or give up on our series for months, after which they'll have lost interest!!
Flunky: I don't understand how this is the outcome we want. Wouldn't we benefit more if our new shows were accessible to new viewers?
Network Executive: You're fired.


This skit is brought to you by the fact that I was able to watch episodes 1-4 of Jane the Virgin legally and then for some reason only episodes 8-9 were available, either via Xfinity Streaming or Hulu -- and on Hulu, bizarrely, episode 2 was for paying users only, the others were available for free. Wouldn't want it to be easy or anything!

I pirated 5-7 and then prepared to watch 8 legally... only to find that episode 10 aired last night, so of course episode 8 had been pulled from all legal sources. Of course, it's hardly just Jane the Virgin! Only the last 5 episodes of the current season of Elementary is available legally unless I pay CBS money for access to that and their other incredibly shitty programming, which is right after stab myself in the eye with a fork on my list of things to do. I was enjoying watching Forever a while back but the only episodes available legally are 4, 6-7, 12-13, which makes for a riveting evening of viewing I'm sure.

Why are you doing this. This is pointless and frustrating. As someone who has ignored all TV for the last few months -- hence why I'd like to catch up and start watching some new series -- it's making me so angry I want to go back to not watching TV. If that's your business model, consider it successful.

Comments

[crookedspoon]

God yes. I am glad that I can at least watch some episodes legally on hulu, but it's sad that some content is only for paying users. Because even if I wanted to, I couldn't become a paying viewer, because I'm not a US citizen and don't have a US bank. God forbid foreign copyright holders would be cheated out of their money. (Which they don't get anyway, because they're not offering my shows.) The only way to get to see most shows would be to buy them via amazon or something. But that's both expensive and I don't even know what I'll get. They don't tell me if there are subtitles in the package or anything, or if there were, if I could turn them off if I wanted. (I don't necessarily need, but they make understanding easier. Especially when characters have a strong Scottish or Irish accent.)

I'm currently trying out a new video-on-demand provider so I can watch Prison Break. I tried out Netflix before, which I liked, because it saves your preferred language, the screen is big and the quality nice. What I'm trying now does not have a lot of series I'm currently interested in, I have to switch every darn episode to English, there are no subtitles, and the quality is atrocious. I stream better quality illegally. It's very sad.

[sincere]

It's so pointless -- and short-sighted. Every study shows that broadcast television is dying because it's overpriced and people prefer DVRs and streaming services. Blocking legal streaming services won't help you, it just makes people stop watching you all the sooner. I'm not saying they should have every episode ever available for me to watch at any time, but the options they're giving me are literally 1) pirate, or 2) give up until it's released on DVD, if you feel like buying the boxed set for a series you haven't watched yet. Embrace streaming.

CBS developing its own "pay us, even if you already have a cable network that carries us, in order to catch up on the ONE show that you want to watch" platform does not count.

Netflix is pretty good, but I've been using Hulu and Xfinity streaming because they tend to have current material, whereas Netflix usually only gets a series after the boxed set is released. But their definition of "current material" is not sufficient, I say.

[crookedspoon]

Well, for higher profile series there is still amazon or iTunes, but yes, I don't feel like paying for anything that I don't know yet. Even if I like a show, I balk at buying the boxed set, because clutter. I'd have to move with it some day.

Do people get caught pirating a lot in the US?

I didn't know Xfinity. How does that work? Can you use it without being a member? That's what I like about hulu. Because I can access the free content via proxy.

Yeah, that's one of the downsides of Netflix. (We apparently have to wait until the boxed set comes out in our country, because Arrow season 2 is still not on Netflix) But at least you can have a look at shows that have been running for some time without having to resort to pirating.

[starsinyourwake]

Yeah, I just. I want to watch Jane the Virgin. I can't until maybe May. ...looks like they've lost a viewer. A viewer who is part of the represented demographic.

Sometimes I swear these people do it on purpose. Maybe they want to sink the company.

[pict]

That is so weird.

Don't stab yourself in the eye with a fork, Kay.