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Events of my visit home
Saturday
Everyone always makes fun of the way I travel. For a weekend visit I bring a carry-on case of clothes and gifts and the like, and my laptop briefcase, and my giganto purse-slash-knapsack. I bring my big bulky jacket, which usually has no less than five pounds of junk in any given pocket. I give off this hobolike impression, according to my family, traveling everywhere I go with every possessoin I can keep on me.
To spite them, I decided to travel without my pursething this week. I cleared out my wallet, my important information, my iPod cord, my books, etc and moved them into my main luggage. I was very proud of myself.
Forgot that I don't have legitimate photo ID and need to use my passport.
The guy at Logan airport looks at me, looks at my ticket, looks at me. He goes, "You've been... selected for additional security inspection... I can't imagine why."
What, I'm too white middle-class Jewish girl to be a terrorist? Now my feelings are hurt. I told him, "I don't have photo ID."
"Oh," he says. "That'll do it."
I'm told to anticipate pain when I attempt to go back through JFK airport without my photo ID. In fact, my mother suggested they might not allow me to board a plane. Which is... retarded and absolutely will not happen. You, visitor from another state! You have to live here in the airport until someone can mail you your photo ID!
Sunday
I get a new haircut. To demonstrate my utter dorkiness: the woman who's cutting it uses this rosy-smelling gel on it. Then she spritzes me with something lilacky. Then she combs it with something else flowery. Then she spritzes and gels it again with yet more flowery-scented things...
I think, I must smell like Marluxia.
Also Sunday
I discovered that in the nine months of my absence, my dinky little town has turned into a TV drama.
1) My cousin, the same one who used to be terrified of butterflies because his co-dependent mother raised him neurotic, was expelled from high school a month prior to his graduation for setting off firecrackers in the school hallway and deafening a girl for several days.
Look out, SUNY Albany. Assuming that you don't retroactively un-accept him.
2) Long time family friend of ours and sometime employer of my parents was thrown into jail, twice, by his wife. They've been together for years and I remember them at my graduation party last July being very happy with their second baby.
Apparently she's a sociopath and the last few years and two babies have been a studied attempt to milk him for all he's worth. She can't stand him in reality and pre-meditatedly cleaned out his bank account, his business, his entire house -- she even took the cooking spices. Currently embroiled in a legal battle for custody of the kids.
3) Oh, and a helicopter crashed into my high school a few weeks ago.
Monday
Bought three volumes of manga, "A Game of Thrones," and the DVD of Tron and didn't pay a cent. ♥ Dad.
We went to a Chinese food buffet and no fewer than twice this same boy, maybe eleven years old, seeks me out while I'm at the buffet table and reaches out to take my hand and stroke it gently, then goes on his way.
...what?
Jesus, is that you?
Am I the chosen one?
Is there an aura of death about me?
Kinda... totally... creepy.
Countdown to horrible surgery: 60 hours.
Everyone always makes fun of the way I travel. For a weekend visit I bring a carry-on case of clothes and gifts and the like, and my laptop briefcase, and my giganto purse-slash-knapsack. I bring my big bulky jacket, which usually has no less than five pounds of junk in any given pocket. I give off this hobolike impression, according to my family, traveling everywhere I go with every possessoin I can keep on me.
To spite them, I decided to travel without my pursething this week. I cleared out my wallet, my important information, my iPod cord, my books, etc and moved them into my main luggage. I was very proud of myself.
Forgot that I don't have legitimate photo ID and need to use my passport.
The guy at Logan airport looks at me, looks at my ticket, looks at me. He goes, "You've been... selected for additional security inspection... I can't imagine why."
What, I'm too white middle-class Jewish girl to be a terrorist? Now my feelings are hurt. I told him, "I don't have photo ID."
"Oh," he says. "That'll do it."
I'm told to anticipate pain when I attempt to go back through JFK airport without my photo ID. In fact, my mother suggested they might not allow me to board a plane. Which is... retarded and absolutely will not happen. You, visitor from another state! You have to live here in the airport until someone can mail you your photo ID!
Sunday
I get a new haircut. To demonstrate my utter dorkiness: the woman who's cutting it uses this rosy-smelling gel on it. Then she spritzes me with something lilacky. Then she combs it with something else flowery. Then she spritzes and gels it again with yet more flowery-scented things...
I think, I must smell like Marluxia.
Also Sunday
I discovered that in the nine months of my absence, my dinky little town has turned into a TV drama.
1) My cousin, the same one who used to be terrified of butterflies because his co-dependent mother raised him neurotic, was expelled from high school a month prior to his graduation for setting off firecrackers in the school hallway and deafening a girl for several days.
Look out, SUNY Albany. Assuming that you don't retroactively un-accept him.
2) Long time family friend of ours and sometime employer of my parents was thrown into jail, twice, by his wife. They've been together for years and I remember them at my graduation party last July being very happy with their second baby.
Apparently she's a sociopath and the last few years and two babies have been a studied attempt to milk him for all he's worth. She can't stand him in reality and pre-meditatedly cleaned out his bank account, his business, his entire house -- she even took the cooking spices. Currently embroiled in a legal battle for custody of the kids.
3) Oh, and a helicopter crashed into my high school a few weeks ago.
Monday
Bought three volumes of manga, "A Game of Thrones," and the DVD of Tron and didn't pay a cent. ♥ Dad.
We went to a Chinese food buffet and no fewer than twice this same boy, maybe eleven years old, seeks me out while I'm at the buffet table and reaches out to take my hand and stroke it gently, then goes on his way.
...what?
Jesus, is that you?
Am I the chosen one?
Is there an aura of death about me?
Kinda... totally... creepy.
Countdown to horrible surgery: 60 hours.
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*also, sends love in case you need some of that*
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Oh yeah. And I love the post. Jesus is clearly coming for the Jewish girl, with her Find Kosher racial skills.
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(She IS.)
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My brother got searched four times...and only one of those was my fault.
I guess Logan just searches a lot of people.