Daily Twitter spam?? APOLOGIES AREN'T ENOUGH

I despise these things, but-- sob. Now that I'm using Twitter again. Here you go.

14:06 If I were more of a risk-taker... I really wish I had more entrepeneurial spirit. *sob* #

14:38 Two applications in Loveland done. Now for a bit of writing maybe? #

15:24 Secret: I think all the people swearing that Hetalia wank made them join the fandom... are by the same person. (The same Hetalia fan?) #

21:26 I feel like I'm simultaneously craving RP and losing interest in it. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? #

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Deliberation! The sinkhole of creativity

I keep worrying so much about RP. I'm losing my drive for it while at the same time I want even more of it. Like, I can't finish a thread with Fran or Bookman at Wasteland, I'm not even looking at the big open log at absolute_hold even though both Cissnei and Allen were supposed to go, but I want to app more people. I want to play Aerith somewhere! And Orihime!

But then I keep worrying. I enjoy the idea of playing a KH!Aerith in a game with Zack (and Poison Ivy), so Wasteland. But the Zack player is everywhere, so I worry if I can't keep up, she'd get left behind and he wouldn't keep at it; if he isn't going to keep after her (and he should, *sobs over the last fifteen minutes of crisis core*) then maybe I should instead app a properly FF!Aerith, even though it'd be less fun. But the last time I tugged on the mun's sleeve to talk to him about it, he never responded to my IM...

Then I want to be Orihime, despite the fact that there's no Bleach cast at WL, because she's so fun and has so many beautiful icons. And then I think, really? Allen, Peony, Orihime, Aerith? I'm just going to be that girl who plays a million shades of nice, humanitarian people? Maybe I should play a villain. Someone who's just bad. Or even someone who's just tsundere like Asch or something. (Maybe if the Dist player gets in and that person who reserved Luke ever apps.) I feel pretty bad about having only protagonists. XD I mean, I go, "I'd like to play Yuri or Flynn or Estelle or," and then I'm like oh god more good moral types.

I could app Orihime at AT, but I'm hardly paying attention to AT right now -- logging tests my distracted inspirationless groove, even though I really need to get them in there -- and the only Bleach cast there are shinigami and villains, which is in my opinion more awkward than having no cast at all.

What villains do I like and could work with in a setting like Wasteland? Not really Aizen or Marluxia, although I don't want to play the latter anymore anyway: it's hard to play them "powerless", out of control. Maybe Mithos. Mithos could be fun...

And then of course there's the fact that I have zero writing mojo. Whyyyyy.