Mass Effect liveplay (complete)

[sincere]

Spent two hours wrestling with my taxes, gave up. I'll have to go to H&R Block next weekend and pay them to take this mess off my hands. Also spent some time looking at apartments/houses?? but it was not fruitful.

Meanwhile, I have been having the random want to replace all my icons with The World Ends With You character poses. Like, FUCK YOU, YURI AND SIF AND DINOSAUR ICONS. I NEED TWENTY ICONS OF SHIKI MAKING FLIPPY HAND GESTURES.



And finally, Mass Effect liveplay, continued from here. Mass Effect, pages 1-8. Mass Effect 2, pages 8-15. Mass Effect 3, pages 15-24.


Latest: ...finished...

Spacer sentinel with traumatic survivor backstory and adorable facial scar! LET'S GO.

Comments

[rainfall]

/plants

[sincere]

THE CITADEL IS SO BIG AND CONFUSING

[temples]

IF ONLY THERE WAS A MAP TO HELP YOU OUT

[sincere]

Dude: The asari Consort is amazing. Like, whoa! She's not like the girls back home. She's amazing.
Other Dude: You can just talk to her and it's amazing.
Dude: HAHA. I BET YOU DIDN'T EVEN SLEEP WITH THE ASARI CONSORT. LOSERRRRR.

Shepard: So what exactly does the asari Consort do?

Dude: I, uh-- Well, she... Helps people, with... things.

Kaidan: So you've never been to see her.

Dude: No. :(


So we have Companions in Mass Effect, I guess.

[sincere]

The asari Consort is named Sha'ira and she's super respected and powerful and fucks people.

[sincere]

The elcor are my favorite species. They're... like... enormous sloth manatee elephants and they speak in monotones with prefixes explaining their emotional intent and they always tell me how awesome it is to see a human here. ADORABLE.

[sincere]

They use prefixes because they communicate mostly with each other via scent and "slight movements". :D

[sincere]

SHA'IRA IS WAY UP IN MY PERSONAL SPACE

[rainfall]

SHE WANTS YOUR MOUTH IN HER EAR HOLE

I assume she has an ear hole

[rainfall]

I really wish there was more variety with the Asari. I feel like the ones we have met are all identical. Do they not have... skin tone variation? And all the ones in the Consort's area have the exact same dress on. :( Mrrrr.

[valleyheart]

/pops in here

ME1 had a low budget for character models, so there really isn't a lot of variation at all. That's also why there's only one sex of each race as well, to cut down on costs. (Female turians, male quarians, etc all make appearances later on, tho!)

In ME2 Samara has a veeeery different/ unique Asari model. Though a lot of other Asari use recycled models. :( Idk about ME3.

[sincere]

So this turian dude Garrus was investigating Saren for shooting our buddy Nihlus in the back, but he hasn't found enough in the three hours twenty minutes it took us to get here, so he's fired.

He feels so sure that Saren is a treacherous asshole, but he can't prove it, so... Good luck, he says.

[sincere]

We go to the council to talk about the attack. The councilors say there's no evidence to hold against Saren, as dire as the geth attack is. Saren is present to sneer at all of us and counter all our accusations. Lame. :(

[sincere]

Saren is cleared of charges and the meeting is ended. The ambassador is pretty pissed off and accuses Captain Anderson of ruining the meeting with his obvious bias against Saren. Anderson responds, "I know Saren, and he wants to EXTERMINATE THE WHOLE HUMAN RACE I JUST KNOW IT," so it sounds like the ambassador's suspicion is totally unfounded.

[sincere]

We're going to hunt down Garrus again and get him to tell us what he knows. Wheeee.

[temples]

Garrus is a bro. With face tentacles. Probably.

[rainfall]

I enjoy how everyone keeps recognizing us and admiring us and asking for our autographs and our backstory makes it super awkward!

[rainfall]

I also love the Keepers. :D They are so creepy and will completely kill us in our sleep someday.

[sincere]

There's way too many things to do here.

Okay uh so we recruited Wrex the Aggressive Krogan and Garrus the ADORABLE TURIAN. I don't actually know what he's really like yet. We are going to go yell at Fist, a guy who works for Saren, and has someone hostage who can prove that Saren is a traitor.

[rainfall]

Garrus is reminding me strongly of a dude from Deep Space Nine. This guy, Garak. Possibly the fact that his name starts with "G" helps, but he's a member of a race that's mostly hostile to people who is gregarious and peace-loving.

[sincere]

We defeated Fist and his...... machine gun turrets. He tells us he set the quarian snitch up in a meeting that would get her assassinated, and we have a four minute timer to go get her ahhhh

WHERE THE FUCK IS SHE, THE ROAD I WANTED TO USE IS BLOCKED NOW I'M LOST HELP

[temples]

SHE'S RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER

I'm serious. Just go back to the place that's kind of sunken in? IT'S NOT FAR.

[sincere]

Ambassador: What the hell, are you operating a circus now, Shepard.
Shepard: Sir, this awesome quarian lady can prove Saren is a traitor.
Awesome Quarian Lady: It's Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, actually. And here, have this recording!

Saren's voice on the recording: BWAHAHA I ORCHESTRATED EDEN PRIME
Someone else's voice: ALSO, REAPERS

Everyone: Okay, this sounds bad.
Captain Anderson: But the important part is, WE CAN PROVE SAREN IS A TRAITOR, FUCK YES.
Tali: Can I join you guys?

Me: Hell yeah you can.

[sincere]

Resuming my liveblogging with PLOT!

[sincere]

We meet with Captain Anderson and head in to the council the meeting where the council is listening to the recording Tali had. The council immediately agrees that Saren has to be disbanded.

The asari councilor recognizes the other voice... as being an older asari, a powerful magicky type who has many followers and supporters.

[sincere]

We recap that the Reapers were an ancient race of machines that mythically were believed to have wiped out the Protheans and then vanished. (This is what Shepard had visions about.) The geth revere them, and follow Saren because he's going to bring the Reapers back.

We still don't exactly know what the "Conduit" is or how it factors in, but it's clearly trouble!

[sincere]

Sometimes the game does feel a little weirdly -- not necessarily tone-deaf, but maybe not as choicey as it wants to be? Like...

Turian Councilor: The Reapers are just a myth, we have no proof of their existence.

My options are basically:
> 1. I've seen them!
> 2. You doubted me before.
> 3. Screw you.

So I choose #1.

Shepard: I WARNED YOU LAST TIME AND YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO ME THEN! HOW MANY TIMES MUST YOU MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE?

Me: That... sounds more like #2 than #1!!

Is there a bug where sometimes it picks the wrong dialogue options or what.

[sincere]

Councilors: /insist again

> 1. I've SEEN them.
> 2. They're real damnit!!
> 3. Screw you MORE!

Me: I'll go ahead and try #1 in the hopes that--

Shepard: THEY'RE REALLY REAL BECAUSE I SAY SO AND YOU'RE GOING TO KILL US ALL WAHHHH

Me: Why won't you fucking remind them about the vision

[sincere]

The Council won't risk an all-out war with the geth to go after Saren.

But they can make me a Spectre so that I can do it. After some bickering...

Cue initiation ceremony with grand musical flourishes.

[sincere]

Captain Anderson steps down as captain of the Normandy, leaving me to take charge! BUT WHY? Mostly because he wants to give Shepard his dreams since she's a Spectre and he failed to be one.

Anyway, Saren is out looking for the Conduit. Follow the geth and see if we can figure out what he's looking for. Sure.

[sincere]

Or, find Matriarch whatserface's daughter and see if she knows anything.

I choose that option, because that's the only option that isn't "Chase Carmen Sandiego around the galaxy, hoping you pick up on clues that will get you a step ahead of her."

[neverforgets]

I want to cosplay Matriarch Beneziah, not going to lie....

[sincere]

Crew: /gets their casual specisism on us

[sincere]

Pause for HIMYM. :D

[temples]

WHAT HAPPENED IN HIMYM?

[sincere]

Hahaha super awkward conversation with Joker........

[sincere]

/slowly
/explores
/every
/planet
/in
/Alpha
/Tau

[sincere]

WHERE ARE YOU YOU MONSTER