Mass Effect liveplay (complete)

[sincere]

Spent two hours wrestling with my taxes, gave up. I'll have to go to H&R Block next weekend and pay them to take this mess off my hands. Also spent some time looking at apartments/houses?? but it was not fruitful.

Meanwhile, I have been having the random want to replace all my icons with The World Ends With You character poses. Like, FUCK YOU, YURI AND SIF AND DINOSAUR ICONS. I NEED TWENTY ICONS OF SHIKI MAKING FLIPPY HAND GESTURES.



And finally, Mass Effect liveplay, continued from here. Mass Effect, pages 1-8. Mass Effect 2, pages 8-15. Mass Effect 3, pages 15-24.


Latest: ...finished...

Spacer sentinel with traumatic survivor backstory and adorable facial scar! LET'S GO.

Comments

[sincere]

Ohhh, the turian ship on Tuchanka isn't the plot! THIS is.

Mordin has the cure ready to go, but the only reliable method of distribution is the Shroud -- the same device the turians used to distribute the genophage itself all those years ago. When I'm ready to move the plot forward I will go find it and kick it a little bit.

[rainfall]

/attaches to it

[sincere]

I came back from a random mission and Liara wanted to visit Shepard in her cabin. She has designed a device that will allow data about the Reapers and the Crucible and their society to be remembered, 50,000 years from now if the cycle continues, just in case.

She wanted Shepard's vote on what the entry about Shepard would say.

Bawww emotions

[sincere]

Shepard votes for honesty. Good, bad. Let history decide what kind of person she was.

Liara: Okay. Then let me just erase all these breathless passages on your heroics...

Liara tells Shepard that all the crew is proud of her, and they're proud to be here. ♥

[sincere]

So I'm down to Tuchanka! First, let's rescue the crashed turians. PLOT LAST, FOREVER.

[sincere]

Turns out the ranking officer on this mission was "Lieutenant Tarquin Victus". You know. Primarch Victus's son. Garrus tsks about how the turian code is pretty unforgiving when it comes to promoting incompetents, especially for personal reasons like "Well he's my son". Victus should know better. Why do it?

Anyway, situation is dire. There are definitely Reaper forces on Tuchanka and they are all over the turian crash site.

[sincere]

I love these intercom conversations dfkjsldgj

Wrex: YOU DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE BOMB, DID YOU, GARRUS
Garrus: Honestly, Wrex, I was just as much in the dark as you were.
Wrex: Hahaha I know I just like making you sweat. You're so calm all the time I wasn't sure you could.
Garrus: I'd be happy to give krogan lessons on relaxing.
Wrex: And we'd be happy to feed you to a thresher maw!
Garrus: ...Shepard, next time keep him away from the intercom.

[sincere]

Javik approves of the turian "leave a giant bomb on their planet" strategy a little more than Garrus enjoys, who cuts the feed on him just as he was explaining how they should have detonated the bomb sooner.

He then confides in Shepard that he likes talking to Garrus, because his knowledge of war is formidable, but he'd be a better marksman if he had four eyes. He thinks the turians would be a fine subservient race to add to the Prothean Empire.

Oh Javik.

[sincere]

Okay it's time for my daily "ADVANCE THE PLOT" move.

A Reaper is parked at the Shroud facility, so we can't disperse the genophage cure! Whoops. The Reaper is actually using the Shroud to poison the atmosphere. Shepard proposes a combined attack: turians in the air, krogan on the ground. Our team can infiltrate while the Reaper is busy with the dual assault, and use the Shroud to disperse the cure.

[sincere]

The salarian dalatrass is on the line. Whoops. She asks if Shepard really believes that a fertile krogan will create a lasting peace. Well, yes? Wrex is a good guy who's trying to fix things, and there's more important things going on right now, and as Shepard points out, you can't condemn an entire race to extinction because of what-ifs.

The dalatrass proposes a compromise. The Shroud was sabotaged to prevent what we're trying to do from happening. Mordin will, of course, fix that when he notices. But if we don't fix the sabotage, the krogan won't even know, right? RIGHT? And then the dalatrass will give us all the salarian fleet (hahaha) and their scientists to help build the Crucible (oh).

Fuuuuck.

[slayerofgod]

Don't do it, Kay! Think of the Krogan!

[sincere]

Eve asks Shepard what's troubling her. I COULD NEVER SAY "NOTHING" WHEN SHE'S STARING AT ME WITH HER EVIL KROGAN PUPPY DOG EYES DIRECTLY ASKING ME WHAT'S UP!

But as Shepard was about to say something, there's turbulence. We settle down and AHHH THERE'S ALREADY HUSKS ATTACKING

We have to protect Eve as we go.

[sincere]

We fight off a wave of Husks, and then the krogan gather. They immediately start bickering about whether or not to trust a salarian, but Eve tells them all to stfu and gives a stirring little speech about putting aside their differences and fighting the enemy they were born to fight.

Eve: I choose to fight. Who stands with me?
Shepard: I will.
Wrex: AND ME.

The other krogan slowly come around.

[slayerofgod]

Love the music there.

[sincere]

And just as I was thinking, "Who could betray the krogan at this point?" Wrex and Eve start discussing plans to demand reparations and expand their territory and relive their glory days before the genophage. Mordin reminds them that those glory days directly led to the creation of the genophage, and lots of war, and countless deaths. I find Wrex's attitude here a little weird, considering that it wasn't long ago that he was talking about how he wanted to put all the war behind him instead of revisiting the old enmities with turian and salarian, and focus on the genophage problem. Now he wants a krogan empire. I understood his difficulty dealing with the primarch and the dalatrass, but is having the cure going to his head?

Eve: BY THE WAY COMMANDER, WAS THERE SOMETHING YOU WERE GOING TO SAY, NOW THAT WE'VE PRESENTED THE PROS AND CONS?

[sincere]

Shepard admits to the dalatrass's offer. Mordin is confident it's not a problem, and Eve and Wrex pat themselves on the back for having Shepard as an ally. But I imagine it's hard for Shepard to feel great about her choice.

Then bad things happen outside.

[sincere]

The road is out leading to the Shroud, but the turians can't divert from the Reaper now, it's too late to avoid a strike. The air forces alone aren't enough, and the Reaper starts tearing through them while we're all stuck on a bridge.

Shepard: WE WILL MAKE A GODDAMN ROAD IF WE HAVE TO
Shepard: JUST GO

But in the rush and the crashing turian jets and the exploding, Shepard's team has to find their own way there. Through the lost underground city of the ancient krogan! Unmapped and full of tremors! Sounds fun. Wrex thinks it sounds fun, anyway.

[sincere]

Shepard: Are you guys feeling these tremors up there?!
Wrex: Nope.
Eve: It could be something else. It is said that Kalros, mother of all thresher maws, lives in this region.
Wrex: So you should hurry your ass up and get out of there.

Liara: ..............Did they just say "Kalros, mother of all thresher maws?"
Garrus: When the krogan NAME something, you know you're in trouble.
Garrus: That means they don't think anyone's ever going to kill it.

[sincere]

We emerge from the ruins into more ruins, but at least they're outside ruins. And they're beautiful and green and watery. Eve says this was once a world with great beauty; you're looking at the last hope left on Tuchanka.

Now let's go kill that Reaper and cure these krogan shitheads.

[sincere]

Eve suggests luring Kalros to the Reaper to let them distract each other. If we can get the Reaper and the thresher maw together, they'll take out their hostilities without us. SOUNDS GREAT.

[sincere]

Wrex pauses to say that whatever happens from here on out, he wants Shepard to know that she's been a true friend to the krogan, and like a sister to him. Shepard will be a name synonymous with hero to the krogans, from this day forward.

We brofist. Sniffle.

[slayerofgod]

THIS IS MY PLANET!

[sincere]

After dying like five times approaching the Reaper, then trying to ring the gongs to summon the thresher maw, a truly epic thresher maw attacks the Reaper in a truly epic cutscene.

[sincere]

skljflskjg Mordin announces he has to go to the top of the Shroud tower to counteract the STG sabotage. He feels responsible. He's ready. He won't be coming back. And he is firm in his conviction when Shepard insists on finding another way.

"Would have liked to run tests on the seashells."

bawww bb no :(

[slayerofgod]

The music. D:

[sincere]

He heads up the tower and disables the countermeasures, ignoring the explosions all around him. Singing to himself as the last explosion rocks the tower.

The cure rains down over Tuchanka. Eve and Wrex are sorry that Mordin had to die in order to see it happen. Wrex promises to name a daughter after him sdflklg.

Wrex promises krogan forces to Palaven immediately, and to Earth, when we need it. Eve tells us that she, Urdnot Bakara, now calls us a friend.

/sobs forever over Mordin

[demiurgic]

Mordin. ;o;

I actually had to take a break after that when I was playing. TOO MANY TEARS. LOST ABILITY TO FUNCTION.

[sincere]

Victus promises his aid. And Garrus will be taking turian forces to help with the construction of the Crucible.

When the primarch is gone, Garrus tells her to get some rest.

Shepard: *grimly* I'll sleep when I'm dead.

Garrus gently urges her on, saying that he knows losing Mordin was hard on her, but she can't keep going forever. He'll wake her if anything happens. Shepard very grudgingly agrees to, because he insists.

[sincere]

Another Silent Hill nightmarescape awaits, with the whispers of Shepard's dead companions and shadowy figures all around: and the little boy, always running away, and she can never reach him, while the Reapers blare and he goes up in flames.

She wakes up and feels like shit. God. It's so visceral.

[sincere]

Liara comes in with news. The salarian councilor wants to speak to Shepard.

[sincere]

She appreciates all Shepard's done for herself and her people, but is amazed to find herself championing a cure for the krogan genophage. Shepard curtly tells her (on the paragon option, lol, she is really worn paper-thin) that the krogan are dying in droves so that her people don't have to.

"Human statesmanship at its finest," says the councilor. I can't tell if she's sincere or sneering.

She has news about Udina, though. He's moving vast sums of money, and "as far as I can tell, you won't like where it's going."

Oh boy. Is he working for Cerberus now. What.

[sincere]

I guess I'll find out, tomorrow.

[sincere]

Still crying all the tears for Mordin, even if Joker and Garrus are being precious bbs and telling each other goofy jokes about how terrible the other guy's race is.

[sincere]

Garrus: What's the first order an Alliance commander gives at the start of combat?
Joker: Uh... I give up.
Garrus: Correct.
Joker: Ha-ha-ha.

Joker: Alright big guy, what do you call it when a turian gets killed by a horrible spikey monster?
Garrus: Friendly fire.
Garrus: Come on, that one goes back to Shanxi!
Joker: Hey, you gotta respect the classics.

Garrus: How many humans does it take to activate a dormant mass relay?
Joker: 602. Six hundred to vote on it, one to ask the asari for technical help, and one to request a seat on the Council afterwards.

Joker: How do you know when a turian's out of ammo?
Garrus: He switches to the stick up his ass as a back-up weapon.

Garrus: Why does the Alliance hire pilots with brittle bone disease?
Joker: You're shitting me! The turian military has one about me?
Garrus: Oh absolutely, I heard it myself from a private back on Palaven.
Joker: Alright, why does the Alliance hire pilots with Brittle Bone disease?
Garrus: So their Marines can beat someone in hand-to-hand drills.
Joker: Damn, you need to tell James that one.

Joker: Hey, what's the hardest part about treating a turian who took a rocket to the side of his face?
Garrus: Figuring out which side took the rocket.

[sincere]

As we enter the Citadel, the Alliance control doesn't respond to our request to-- Uh-oh. There's enemy soldiers in the radio tower.

Thane responds to our emergency broadcast and tells us that Cerberus troops are everywhere and they've taken control of the docks. He had to escape the hospital, and he got separated from Ashley. We're going to C-Sec to try to take down the Cerberus troops there.

Cerberus quit fucking with me :|

[sincere]

We help a wounded Bailey get to a computer terminal, where he sets up a channel for C-Sec to communicate and coordinate on. Councilor Esheel had set up a meeting with the executor and should be inside. Garrus and I realize simultaneously that considering what the salarian lady told Shepard, she probably wants to have Udina prosecuted for something big.

Did Udina betray us to fucking Cerberus? I fucking knew it. :| Fuck that guy.

[slayerofgod]

Fuck him right in the ear!

[sincere]

The executor is dead and so are two salarian bodyguards, but the councilor isn't here. Shepard catches sight of movement down below and sees Esheel deactivating one of Kasumi's invisibility gadgets, so -- whew. She's alive and apparently unharmed.

At least, until Shepard turns her back, at which point an assassin drops from the rafters and confronts her. When she notices, she breaks through the glass and leaps down to the next floor, but the assassin gets the councilor between them, using her as a shield.

Udina has planned a coup and is going to kill all the councilors, she says. Starting with her, since she knows about his dastardly plans!

Shepard: Three against one, pal. Now it's over.
Assassin: No. Now it's fun.

But surprise! Thane is behind you! Then it's time for definitely not cliche slow-motion ninja assassin fights, culminating in the assassin slicing into Thane, to Shepard's horror. She follows the assassin to the window and shoots after him long after there is any point. bb stop, just... stop

[sincere]

Thane "has time", and urges Shepard to go after the assassin. She tells Bailey to send Thane medical help and then takes off in a car.

But the assassin, well aware of the tired old trope that swords beat guns every time, just flat-out jumps onto her car, stabs it a few times with a sword while Shepard wrestles her way onto the roof of a speeding car after him and shoots at his biotic barrier a few times, and then hops off again while we crash.

Your ninja-fu is so weak, asshole. Killing a dude already dying of a degenerative respiratory disorder and a car are nothing to be proud of. /sniff